i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
