do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
