I CAN MOONWALK!
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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