Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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