you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
