Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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