i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
