i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
