May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
