Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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