Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
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