Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
