in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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