Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
