yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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