Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
50% drunk capacity currently
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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