So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize