you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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