This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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