I wanna passion pit in your ass
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
