I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
