i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
