if you like me you must not know who I am
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Of course I have a pirate flag
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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