My hair reeks of homosexuality.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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