Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
