Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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