You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
