Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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