I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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