but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
