butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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