But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
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