i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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