You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Shitshow foam night was such a success
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
