Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
