TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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