we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
