i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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