thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
