Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Acid is not a monday night drug
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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