Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
