I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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