Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
