no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
You are a genius and a whore.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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