You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
