I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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