It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
