she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
