i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He passed out mid-signature
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Randomize
