Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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