i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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