history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
